mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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