I think im going to throw up on grandma
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
