Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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