I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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