it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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