Your face is a jimmy john
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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