I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
