belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
