I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
