Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
