she was so not down for the gang bang
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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