We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize