Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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  (509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.

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  (908): Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at. http://tfl.nu/8pgv
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (4412)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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  (509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber... http://tfl.nu/856a
  Replies (63) Good night (872) Bad night (4226)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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  (708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug
  Replies (10) Good night (5821) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  mine is 'the'.

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  (202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1
  Replies (32) Good night (9234) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6481) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.

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  (425): I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B. http://tfl.nu/2oen
  Replies (38) Good night (5199) Bad night (2159)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.

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  (914): i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/xwvv
  Replies (13) Good night (6618) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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  (214): I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday. http://tfl.nu/w2er
  Replies (24) Good night (2079) Bad night (5206)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

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  (217): You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic http://tfl.nu/nxkw
  Replies (2) Good night (2739) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This is love.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?

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  (413): This is love. (860): Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party? http://tfl.nu/8lic
  Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

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  (514): Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance. http://tfl.nu/bud1
  Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm pregnant.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???

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  (407): I'm pregnant. (1-407): The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number??? http://tfl.nu/ivb7
  Replies (17) Good night (1827) Bad night (2503)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

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  (919): Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were http://tfl.nu/t156
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.

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  (519): I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not. http://tfl.nu/yb7r
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (286)

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