You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
