Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...

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  (402): So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant... http://tfl.nu/xr5a
  Replies (12) Good night (1601) Bad night (803)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

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  (410): So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it. http://tfl.nu/iplm
  Replies (41) Good night (3605) Bad night (1090)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Billy Mays died!

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?

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  (303): Billy Mays died! (1-303): I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world? http://tfl.nu/rasz
  Replies (25) Good night (2244) Bad night (896)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

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  (423): come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again http://tfl.nu/f993
  Replies (15) Good night (3776) Bad night (1488)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.

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  (973): Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/ob9t
  Replies (28) Good night (9123) Bad night (925)
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  (578): View more from

  oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

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  (578): oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home. http://tfl.nu/mth9
  Replies (13) Good night (1064) Bad night (3229)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2712) Bad night (1019)
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  (716): View more from New York

  he got a rim job in the basement.

  (716): View more from New York

  apparently i was the one who gave it to him.

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  (716): he got a rim job in the basement. (716): apparently i was the one who gave it to him. http://tfl.nu/gzx7
  Replies (10) Good night (1030) Bad night (4420)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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  (912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8
  Replies (4) Good night (3210) Bad night (721)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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  (203): I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too http://tfl.nu/f6yj
  Replies (7) Good night (768) Bad night (2578)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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  (909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (1758)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete

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  (973): They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete http://tfl.nu/wsoe
  Replies (3) Good night (1792) Bad night (364)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.

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  (513): I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point. http://tfl.nu/23a6
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (598)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after

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  (289): our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after http://tfl.nu/x4st
  Replies (5) Good night (444) Bad night (235)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible

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  (518): Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible http://tfl.nu/sefo
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (172)

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