omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself