Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2317) Bad night (717)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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  (201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn
  Replies (73) Good night (1305) Bad night (12933)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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  (850): I mistook a propane tank for a keg. http://tfl.nu/qvlo
  Replies (21) Good night (967) Bad night (10231)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

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  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (3891)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

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  (203): spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow http://tfl.nu/sj2l
  Replies (13) Good night (5445) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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  (732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb
  Replies (4) Good night (2791) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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  (512): Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky. http://tfl.nu/on0b
  Replies (17) Good night (5766) Bad night (1599)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4679) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
  Replies (9) Good night (1245) Bad night (4308)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

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  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1450) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

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  (859): I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud... http://tfl.nu/ip6k
  Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.

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  (636): We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard. http://tfl.nu/6ym7
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one

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  (865): I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one http://tfl.nu/oyli
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"

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  (425): I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours" http://tfl.nu/sls8
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (253)

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