That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.