Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

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  (678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended? (770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet." http://tfl.nu/9zzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2800) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.

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  (317): and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka. http://tfl.nu/vpiu
  Replies (10) Good night (4734) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
  Replies (16) Good night (842) Bad night (4311)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together

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  (630): i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together http://tfl.nu/1hrq
  Replies (36) Good night (6149) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

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  (860): So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this. http://tfl.nu/j4ab
  Replies (5) Good night (4829) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1338) Bad night (6485)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

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  (336): That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on! http://tfl.nu/2bv6
  Replies (10) Good night (3677) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity

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  (850): I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity http://tfl.nu/pmac
  Replies (6) Good night (3249) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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  (231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt
  Replies (2) Good night (2347) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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  (813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur
  Replies (5) Good night (4127) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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  (+44): I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though. http://tfl.nu/88hx
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.

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  (606): If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now. http://tfl.nu/nnuj
  Replies (3) Good night (1993) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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  (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1959) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gameday bitch. Man up.

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  (336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp
  Replies (2) Good night (1557) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (381)

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