cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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