He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
