Yo dont text me then not text me
I could make wine with my vomit
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
