Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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