Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
