so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
