who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize