Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize