I skipped work to stalk him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wish my penis had a tongue
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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