i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
