Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
