is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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