I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
