apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
