You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
