I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize