Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
