I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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