Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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