Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
