I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
