I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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