Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
