worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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