this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
