I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do herpes really smell.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
