But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
