I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've blown a few things in my day
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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