Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
