So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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