No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize