actually, I'm a sock model
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
