her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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