Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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