if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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