I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize