Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
