Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
