I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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