I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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