this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize