Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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