Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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