dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and she was petting her beer can
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
