i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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