You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
