Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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