gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
