she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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