Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
