How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
